Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice when He could do something about it. But I'm afraid God might ask me the same question.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Our evenings are spent poolside, practices or swim meets nearly every night.  Makes for busy days, but the kids are really enjoying it.That's my girl.

Swinging Sisters. Mina loves to play Mama to Finn, it is funny too because she is like a strict Mommy..   Always correcting her, scolding her, or telling her what to do.  But we will go with it for now, because it is something, and thankfully Finn doesn't fully get it yet.  I can tell with each day she lets her in just a little more.   

Mina is still struggling with sharing anything and everything, but has been much better with Finn, especially when we are out and about and not in "her space".  Finn's adjustment is going well, she still has no words and barely even babbles, she is a bit behind with her motor skills too.  I would say she is more on a 10-12 month old level, but picking up quickly.  I am not for a second acting like we got it all together over here.  I am trying to figure out the necessities of being a Mommy of 5.  There is this wide eyed look people give you when you tell them you have 5 kids, I got the same look when I said 4 kids.  I used to be a bit put off  or better yet even feel a bit self-righteous by the look and following commentary about, "Oh, my goodness, how do you handle 5 kids", or "I could never do that."  We always had  a good thing going, and I could keep it all under control while looking cool as a cucumber and having dinner on the table at 6:30 when my husband walked through the door.  Not happening right now!  I have let all of the frivolous Mommy things go, big dinners 7 nights a week, and my floor could use some vacuuming and I think my bed is unmade.  But the hardest part is feeling like I can not give each of my children the one on one attention they all want, need and deserve.  So on top of feeling overwhelmed, I am feeling really guilty.  The timing of coming home with a new baby, right at the beginning of summer, when all the kids are home hasn't helped our case.  I so badly want to enjoy my wonderful children, and soak up all these amazing little moments.  I don't know how to do that when I am just juggling all of the needs.  I do know that it will all come. 


Mollie B said...

Give it 3 months and you will get it all figured out and everything will feel alright. I remember when I had Ariail a friend told me about a month in I was the worst advertisement for having 3 children she had ever seen. Then 2 months later she came to me and said she couldn't believe how I had gotten it all together. It will happen and be second nature. Thanks for all my goodies!!!

chksngr said...

Oh, Amy! I feel this way with ONE!!! Like I can't get things clean enough, or that there are not enough family dinners or even reading time! I'm so exhausted between this pregnancy and working the crazy hours I work, I feel like Jay's whole childhood is passing me by and all I can think about is more sleep! BUT YOU, my sweet friend, YOU are an amazing mom and I can tell that your children ADORE you and the time you spend with them. Besides, to mom's like me who's floor ALWAYS needs to be vacuumed...the fact that YOUR floor needs to be vacuumed makes me love you even more than I already did, and admire you for even more than I already did for putting your family time above all else...

HUGS and BLESSINGS girlie!

fullertribe said...

I know the exact look that you are talking about. My favorite is when they ask me how old ours are and when we tell them you can see the wheels turning with my age and the oldest age!!! It may not be nice to mess with people but what can I say it's my little payback!!! By the way each one of your children will get exactly what they need from you because God wouldn't have it any other way!

Anonymous said...

love you amy crawford:)


Sarabeth Hudson said...

You are a most excellent Mommy - even if it doesn't feel that way right now! I have a cross stitch on my wall that used to be on my mom's wall when we were little. It says:

Cleaning and scrubbing can wait 'til tomorrow, For children grow up we've learned to our sorrow, So quiet down cobwebs and dust go to sleep, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

In other words, and I think you are doing this well - remember that it's the kids that are important - not clean floors or big meals. Later they won't remember the fabulous salmon blah blah blah - they will remember all the fun times you guys had and that you were always there. Much love to someone I admire - YOU!