Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice when He could do something about it. But I'm afraid God might ask me the same question.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

the beans...part deux


I left off yesterday with my phone ringing...
So I picked up the phone and the conversation went something like this ( of course I was twirling my hair and acting completely nonchalant)

Me: Hey
Him: Hey
Me: So, uh, did you get my email
Him: Yeah
Me: Isn't he just stinkin' precious
Him: Yeah, he's really cute
Me: Can I ask to see his file, you know just to see, maybe I could advocate for him...
Him: NO!
Me: But I just want to look at it, he's been waiting for a really long time, doesn't he look so much like Finn?
Him: Aren't you the same woman that made me PROMISE that if you ever asked me to adopt again that I would have to say, "NO"
Me: Yeah, but doesn't he look just like Finn? And I only made you promise when I was jet-lagged that doesn't count.
Him: No, you made me promise you..more than once.
Me: I just want to see his file, can I ask to see his file. Isn't he just so adorable, he looks like Finn.
Him: Fine you can see his file but we are NOT adopting again, besides we just moved into this house like 3 weeks ago...
Me: Bye honey darling love muffin....click
Him: hello, hello, is anyone there.......

So I don't think I took a breath before I was calling to get his file... and because my agency coordinator ROCKS, I had it in my hot little hands within minutes.... His file is over 2 years old, it has been on different agency lists but by this point it is on the shared list. At first it only came across with the Chinese file,, there is no English translation, which makes me pretty sure that no one has even ever requested to see the file since it has been on the shared list. I just can't fathom. So I try to play really cool with Marc once he comes home, try not to sound as over the top and freaked out as I am. Because on one hand this little guy is precious, we would be blessed to call him our son, but on the other hand, no lie, it get's pretty nutty around here sometimes. I have doubts that I will be able to show up for everyone that needs me...

So I wait until the kiddos are asleep and I show him the file. I tell him, "You can say no, I will totally understand, but I'm just asking you to pray about it first. I also want to make sure that if you do consider it- that you are totally on board. I really need you to want to come home to me and this chaos every night, so I totally respect if this is a solid no. But it has to be solid. I truly am too emotional to make rational decisions."

So a week goes by and we don't talk about it too much, until we take some time out at night to pray together, and my husband, (a.k.a. the best thing that ever happened to me) prays for this beautiful boy, and for God's direction as to whether we should add him to our family. The day before I leave for the orphan summit, I ask him if I should print out some of his info to try to advocate for him. (It seems like a logical place to advocate, if I had to hunt Steven Curtis Ch@pm@n himself down I would have.) He tells me to just wait, wait until I get home.

What does that mean, holy cow he must really be considering this. So instead of being totally excited I start to feel all my iniquities as a Mommy. It really does a number on your head, I'll tell you. One minute I am planning how we will rearrange the sleeping situation in the house and getting all excited. The next moment I am thinking of having 5 teenagers in my house at one time and start to have panic attacks. The next moment I am fantasizing about how great it could be to see all my kiddos play in the back yard, or the trip to China, and even what song I'm gonna use for the adoption video... Then I think about all the scary attachment stuff that can possibly come with adopting a 5 yr old who has been in an orphanage his entire life. So basically I am a wreck. If the decision was all mine I would have no idea what to do.

While I am at the Orphan Summit I call Marc and tell him I am going to advocate for this little guy. He tells me, "No, I think we should do this". Then I start to panic. That night I go back to my hotel and my agency coordinator who ROCKS, has asked for an entirely new file for this little guy. So I have new photos, personality, and medicals...dated within days. We continued to go back and forth, mostly me just flipping out about all the "what-if's" , and Marc finally just tells me to do it. stop worrying. once we start the process we can just stop thinking of all the negative stuff and move forward. He kept repeating himself for the whole next week. We both did a little wavering a little each way... but we finally came to the conclusion that we couldn't possibly say no...and once I called my agency coordinator who ROCKS, and told her to lock his file all. the. fear. left. , and I started to get just crazy excited. I may have even gone shopping within the hour for goodies for his first care package :) So we are now over the moon happy to show off our newest addition.... I hope and pray that he loves being part of our family as much as I know we will love him. And since I know y'all already just scrolled to the bottom to see these precious pics...

Seriously, doesn't he look like Finn? This is the first photo I saw.

Now he has grown in the 2 years since his file was released,, here is a newer photo. He has changed so much and lost those baby cheeks, but he is still as adorable as ever.


30 comments:

Jennifer Barbee said...

So excited for you! Hang on for a wild ride girl!!!

Jen said...

You guys are awesome!!! I am so thrilled for you and your family. This will be great and this little boy couldn't ask for a more wonderful family. Everyone is blessed.

Jen

Love for Lilly Yin said...

AWESOME! Lilly was 5 at adoption too! I can help if you need it! ((hugs)) to all of you! BTW, think you could give me a hubby 101 lesson? haha

chksngr said...

Amazing!!! By the way, I've been informed by my 3 year old that 5 year olds are not "cute" they are "hamsome!" Hes SO "HAMSOME!" BLESSINGS to you for all the amazing things you do on behalf of the children that need parents!

Cara said...

He IS so handsome! He is going to fit into your family perfectly! Congrats!

fullertribe said...

I am SO excited for you! He is so cute! His face in the second picture reminded me a little of Gabe! Another visit your way is for sure going to have to happen once he is home.

Truly Blessed said...

Awesome! So glad for your family and for your handsome little man.

BTW, what's his American name gonna be?

Angie said...

The first thing I said to Dan when I saw his picture was how much he reminded me of Finn-he is just scrumptious!!!

So completely thrilled for you guys-can't wait to follow along on your ride!

Sharing Life and Love said...

Love his new photo! He is gorgeous. Will fit right in with your crew.

So---how about the name????

Anonymous said...

Oh, I love "part deux". It's just icing on the cake, this whole story. Isn't it amazing when God uses our husbands to break down a wall we ourselves put up? Love it. We'll be praying over here for you, for your family, and for your precious little guy. Blessings to you guys!! love, The Humes

Dana said...

Congratulations! Can't wait to follow this wonderful journey. He is so cute and has that little sparkle in his eye!

Robin said...

Such wonderful news!!!! Can't wait to follow along.


Blessings,
Robin

groovy mama said...

What a nice story, but really what a nice hubby you have! Congrats, he is a cutie-pie!

Donna

Heather Thompson said...

So very excited for you!!! You are one BLESSED momma! brave, busy, but most especially BLESSED! Congrats for taking that step and following His call on your life! I think you needed one more boy too;) PS-please pray for my sweet hubby, my daughter and I think we need another girl to round out our home! In His time though and only by His grace! God Bless

Annie said...

He is just precious!!!

Sarabeth Hudson said...

<3

Tammy ~ Country Girl at Home ~ said...

Oh Amy he IS adorable! I'm so happy for you guys!

Tammy

JT and Angie said...

Amy-
I'm so excited for you! He is just a cutie! Can't wait to get together again and talk about BLOOM -Adoptions - Orphans... all my favorite things.

Blessings,
Angie

Michelle said...

He is so cute and looks just like Finn. Can't wait to hear more details. Still working on my husband.

4ever said...

Wow! So exciting! I wish you the very best in this newest adventure and I hope that the process moves quickly for you so you can get this cutie home! Congratulations!

Jennie

Jen said...

Congrats!!! We are considering an older child for our next adoption (if I can convince my husband). I can't wait to follow your guys journey!!

Jennifer
Mother to Zoe (Dongguan SWI)
& my sweet three boys!

Hebnix said...

I have to admit, I am very envious of you right now... Happy for you guys too! So as far as age, where will he fall.... in between Jack and Mina? I hope that all goes well!

As for Simon's address, you can email me here: hebnix at gmail dot com

Been glued to your blog for a little more than a year now, and honestly love to see when you have another post! Now we have yet another adventure to China to follow along with... Soooo excited for you!

Sooner Girl said...

Wow! Amazing! May God bless you on your journey to your son.

Amy said...

You all are the best. thank you so much for all the love and support. I am knee deep in paperwork over here :)

Afamily4Him said...

AMY!!! I am so excited for y'all! I will never forget your glow and joy as you talked about him at the Summit! You were an expecting Mama on the verge of finding out!It could not be anymore perfect! I love it!

Alisa C.

Alisa said...

Congratulations! What a lucky little guy. I am so happy for all of you!

Anonymous said...

:)

love beth

Jeanette said...

Well my goodness! I had no idea this was all going on at the summit! I mean, we talked briefly about the possiblity but I didn't know you guys said "YES"! Congratulations! I am so excited for your family and can't wait to watch this story unfold!

Cindy said...

What a wonderful post! Congratulations!!! He is adorable!!!!

Jennifer and Matt said...

Oh my goodness! I've followed your blog off and on for a while. Never commented, but I have to now. I just want to say a huge Thank you for opening your heart and home to this precious little boy! We obviously are with the same agency and I have been looking at his picture for some time. There's just something about him that tugged at my heart -maybe it's because something in his face reminds me of my little boy (adopted in Aug 2009). Every time I've seen his face I've prayed that he would find a family. My heart just ached for him. So thank you from the bottom of my heart! You've made my day - I can't wait to share this with my husband since I've mentioned this little guy to him before. Looking forward to following your journey to your new son.
Many Blessings,
Jennifer