Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice when He could do something about it. But I'm afraid God might ask me the same question.

Friday, November 20, 2009

My biggest baby

We are officially on the countdown to Collin MOVING to CHINA! He leaves right after Chinese New year and will be living in Beijing for 6 months. As his Mama, I am sad and thrilled at the same time. My sadness is selfish so I try desperately to put that aside. He (and 3 other teens from the US) will be living and studying there on a scholarship through the US government. He will be going to school with the local kids in Beijing,living in a dorm during the week and living with a host family on the weekends. I know he will do well in China,his itinerary is packed full of life changing experiences. Oh how I would love to join him, I'm sure he would love to bring his Mommy along, right? I also can't help but wish that at 17 years old I had half the confidence and direction this child o' mine has. I wish I could take credit for it but I can't... Even when he was 5 years old I would have rather entered a crowded room with him by my side because he has always felt 100% comfortable in his own skin, he makes other people feel comfortable just being near him. He could entertain for hours telling tales of my cruel and unusual Mommy moments. I admit that I am TOUGH, but when he tells the stories he gets me cracking up. I will refrain from telling the stories in a public website as they might incriminate me. But once when he was 13 he tried to say, "Whatever" to me... and it was the LAST time he ever tried it... He has never been brave enough to roll his eyes or sass me again. But he loves to tell the story of my crazy antics. I used to fear the teen years before I had a teenager, but it has been wonderful. When you watch the news or some of those scary Opr@h shows about the horrifying things teenagers do... I get all worked up for a bit and then I think of my boy and he makes me feel hopeful. We have come to the place where I have very few rules for him. I have no control, his life is 99% in his hands right now. The best mommy feeling in the world is having confidence that your child is making good decisions based on their own moral compass.

... Because I truly feel you have to pick your battles with your teen...this is my LOST battle. I usually never go this far in, but just so I could keep things on the up and up.. I risked life and limb to bring you the following photos. Just be thankful your computer screen isn't "scratch and sniff".

I especially love the little vignette of with the dirty dishes next to they lysol spray, can't you just tell he is a germaphobe? Oh and the college application, mixed in with dirty dishes, empty fruit stripe gum wrappers, and dirty clothes. Uhh, and shouldn't he be taking those books to school?
p.s. I am sure this sappy mama will be talking about her teenager way too much in the upcoming months... please bear with me, I'm sure I will need some prayer and handholding once February comes around.


chksngr said...

So...the thing about taking on parenthood as a job is that you never really know that you are successful until they leave the nest...I'd say you can give yourself an "A" my friend...they hate us when we are strict, but one day, one day - they remember and appreciate how much you cared to set up high and tight fences!

Annie said...

Wow, what an incredible experience for him but I totally understand your Mommie reservations!!! It sounds like he has been raised well and has a good head on his shoulders. He will be just fine!!!

Robin said...

It's always hard to let go but when you know they make good choices it does make it easier.

What a wonderful experience he has ahead of him.


Gretchen said...

Our first baby is our baby always.