Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice when He could do something about it. But I'm afraid God might ask me the same question.

Friday, March 2, 2012

Ramblings from Crazytown...

Have any of you read those blogs where the Mommy writers seem to have it all together?  You know they have a big family, beautiful home, they volunteer, make projects with their kids, take beautiful pictures, their kids are perfect and always look like gap models, they cook beautiful meals 3 times a day 7 days a week, have a job they actually get paid for doing, have amazing spouses with gads of time for date night and romance all while taking pictures and blogging about it.   This is not that blog!  Sure I have my shining moments, and some of them have been caught in pictures and posted proudly on this blog...but that is what it is...moments, the ones we will hopefully savor but small moments.  Most of the time this Mama of 6 gig is ugly and hard and exhausting and chaotic.  I have easy kids and difficult kids.  I looose my patience, way more than I would like to admit.  I question why God placed adoption on our hearts in such a big way because I am so not the kind of girl that should be responsible for so many little people.  I try to channel my inner Michelle Duggar, but I cannot seem to find her.  I have kids that struggle because of things they faced in their first years and as much as I understand I also get frustrated by it all.  But these little people also crack me up into belly laughter and make me beam from the inside out. 

We did decide to put our house on the market and holy heck has that been a roller coaster of drama.  We will see how it all turns out.  It is so up in the air right now, and honestly I am okay with whatever happens.  My worst case scenario is I get to stay in a house that I love, so I need to gain a little perspective and keep praying that God will open the door that is best for our family ( quickly please Jesus, cause I can't take the living in limbo). My house feels a little violated at the moment from all of the strangers poking and prodding it.  Gives me the creepers.  It is soooo fun to keep your house perfectly together with a bunch of little kids running around.  No stress here.  I will keep you all posted.  IF we move, we will move closer to the horses, and if we stay we will just be a few miles away and I am so fine with that too.  

Speaking of horses, we went to go see one the other day and my baby girl ended up getting bucked off and into the Emergency room with a concussion. So Scary!!!!!  She is doing better now and can ride this weekend, hopefully that dang horse didn't shake her confidence.  I'm still also hoping and praying to find the perfect(ish) pony.  

And then my photo library went missing and I think my computer is about to have a coronary.  I haven't had time to pretend I know what I'm doing enough to try to figure it out.  Hence the post with my common rambling but no photos...

Have I ever told you that when I grow up I want to be a hippie?  I vow here and now that at some point in my life I will have full on dreadlocks. If it was at all socially acceptable I would have them now.  I have the perfect hair for it,, the girl at super cuts told me so, and no I didn't ask her opinion, she just told me.  Has anyone ever told you that?  And if they did would you take it as a compliment? 
 I have also signed up for gardening classes next week and I couldn't be more excited, I am so high maintenance!  
I fantasize about having an indie hippie airstream trailer and I beg my husband to buy me one way too often, some girls want diamonds and some girls want huge run down pieces of aluminum to fix up.   
Our little crew makes such a scene no matter where we go, seriously a simple dinner out and we get lots of comments and looks,,,, could you imagine me rolling in with my dreads, my Birkenstocks, and a few tattoos,,, holy geez... someday though, I've already warned my kids that I'm going to be a hippie grandma.  

So there you chattering away here is proof that I don't have it all together...not even close. i'm all over the place today, but now I feel cleansed of all my crazy :)  thanks for listening :)  


Amy said...

This is amusing.. cause I've always pictured you as exactly what you're saying you're not! I've showed your family picture to my husband & told him I want to be in your family- he laughed at me. But your family looks so cool & cozy & loving. :)

Sennie said...

Your family does look like a GAP family, so beautiful :-D

And it's totally Crazytown all around, especially at our house or in our Airstream ;-)

Megan said...

I've always known you were crazy that is the main reason I like you. If I thought you were that perfect "blog mom" we'd never be friends. Also, I could so see you as a hippie grandma. You and Justine could have long talks about gardening maybe I could have you babysit her again...remember that?!

groovy mama said...

Yeah, right on sister!!!! They have to have nannies that cook & clean right??? I want to know how they keep it together-hmmmmm.....?
Oh & as far as hippies go, I find at time my neighbors often wonder where my mind was the morning I got dress or not dress- ha as I hang at the door as the bus rolls up:p
Rock on, as I sit in my Beatles shirt & newly adopted daughter sifts in her bandana & Beatles shirt too! Love the post as i ramble too!
Ps tell Elllen to email me I have photos to share w her of china!

Jami Lynn said...

Thannks Amy especially for your first paragraph of this's good to know I am in good company. I have 4 little ones all 6 and under. We just brought our youngest, 2 1/2 year old home from China 3 months ago. And, what you wrote was exactly how I feel a lot of the time...but many blogs make you feel like they got it all together...and then I can't help but question what's wrong with me...and although there's plenty wrong with's still good to know many moms aren't as perfect as their posts portray! So thanks!! Love your blog!

Gretchen said...

I have been away way too long!!

Glad to see I am not the only one with the crazy life! Big Hugs!

Jen Barbee said...

GIRL - I'm with ya. I don't even have my act together enough to blog about how I don't have it all together !!!! I'm not gonna be a hippy grandma though. I'm gonna by a GYPSY!