Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice when He could do something about it. But I'm afraid God might ask me the same question.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

gotcha day

So I have been MIA while my computer was at the doctor... man I accomplish so much more around my house when I don't have access to a computer :)  Anyhow, while I was away I missed blogging about a pretty momentous milestone around here.  Ty's one year Gotcha day.  It has been a year filled with witnessing miracles and one of the hardest years of my life all at the same time.  For the girls we always celebrated their gotcha day with a yummy dinner and a small gift that we bought for them in China. But we are treading on different ground this time around.  Last week when we told Ty that his special day was coming up he started to get sad and has a lot of questions.  Not the kind you would expect.  He does not ever want to talk about his time in China.  We bring it up often or try to ask him questions which he NEVER answers.  We all love China and talk about one day going back with the entire family.  He will quickly pipe up and remind everyone that he does NOT want to go to China.  When the conversation does turn to China he usually starts to question me and asking me, "Mommy, what took you so long to get me in China?"  "Why did it not take a long time for you to get Mina and Finn in China?"  "Mommy, you should have gotten me first!" "Mommy, I want to be a baby when you get me in China."  I think he blames me for the fact that he waited so long. 

 And then sometimes he just tells us that he WAS a baby when we came to China.  I think he would love to just gloss over and pretend that is how it all went down.  Denial.  I totally understand that.   I don't know if I will ever be able to tell him the truth that I had seen his sweet face waiting on waiting lists for over 2 years before I even thought about the possibility of adding another child to our crew.    I do know for sure that for the past year this boy has loved like I have never seen, he has the biggest heart I have ever known and I am blessed to be his Mama. 

Needless to say we didn't celebrate too much, I don't think he would have appreciated it.  He wants so badly to just forget, to be just like his big brother and not have this past.  So we just went on like any other day.  But I went back to look at some pictures of my boy one year ago and I broke into tears.  
 In this picture I see a pale skinny little kid. I remember how weak he was.  How ridiculously uncoordinated he was.  How he hoarded food.  How he flinched when you tried to give him a high five. How he tested his limits to see if we could protect him.  How he would carry 17 toys at the same time for fear he would lose one.  How he was too nervous to leave my side for a second.  How he would  try to win our love by sweeping, and cleaning like mad. How happy he was during the day and then we would go in to find him quietly sobbing at night.   How he would wet the bed every night for fear of getting out of bed.
Now, if you put these pictures side to side I wouldn't pick my boy out of a line up.  He is a totally different child.  He looks and acts like he has aged 4 years in the past 12 months.
So last year in China I will admit that I was scared...he couldn't even tell his colors to the guides, he couldn't hold a pencil and trace a straight line.  His Mandarin, the few times he tried was barely understandable to anyone in China or here.  I was worried that he was very delayed...  Now that he is  a few weeks into Kindergarten, I spoke with his seasoned teacher and she said he was doing fabulous...better than a lot of the kids that have been here their whole life...she said she would have him reading by the end of the year!!!!!  I cried huge tears of joy!  I am crazy proud of how far he has come. He is so brave and so determined and so loving.  and I am blessed!


Angie said...

Can't believe that it's been a year already! Happy Gotcha Day-Ty has come so far in the year he's been here...we miss you guys and hope to get together again like we did last year. I must admit, it broke MY heart reading that he was asking you all of those questions, I can only imagine how hard it was for you to hear them...I'm sure as time passes by and he gets older, he will understand the whole why and how of it you all

Megan said...

what a sweet boy! tough questions that sweet boy is asking that is for sure. "there are years that ask questions and there are years that answer" zora neale of my favorite quotes for the tough questions we have in life. love to you, my sweet amy!

Nancy said...

Oh sheesh. tears again, of joy. He's just so incredibly gorgeous! So perfect. His pain so normal and real. And oh my what God has done by putting him in this family... perfectly chosen for him.
Thank you for sharing!
PS-I want my sweetie's teachers to say that someday to me! someday.

groovy mama said...

oh wonderful post!
Tears on how far he came...and so CUTE!

Christy and Kevin said...

Happy 1 year Gotcha! We just celebrated our 1st year with Keaton last week. Thanks to our meeting in GZ last Summer and the info of using our I 600 again we just got home with son #2 last month. We have enjoyed following along and watching Ty grow this year. You have a beautiful family!

Jenny said...

Oh Amy...look at HIM!!! He is amazing! So healthy, so happy and so stinkin' CUTE!!!! Happy Gotcha Day Mr. Ty!!!

Amy said...

thanks all! Angie, we miss you guys too!! We have to make a plan for next summer!
Love the quote Megan... that is surely going to hit our quote blackboard :) Thanks
Christy! Congrats on your second adoption! I love your heart and how I knew the day we met in China that you were already ready to come right back for another sweet child.
You all are fabulous!

Stephanie said...

Goodness, what a testimony to the power of God and family and LOVE! Would you be willing to let us feature this post on "We Are Grafted In" ( I think you do such a great job of sharing your very real fears from a year ago and how far he has come since many other AP's would be so encouraged by your story.
Feel free to contact me with questions and let me know your thoughts.
Co-administrator of WAGI
smurphy 28 @ juno . com

Jen Barbee said...

It is all about love, love, love, love, LOVE !!

rgshrs said...

Ok, you are going to have forgive any typos, can't see through the tears. what a sweet and sad and happy story all at the same time. It is amazing how far Ty has come in a year, has it only been a year? Wow. Happy Gotcha Day. Hugs.

Gretchen Hill said...

I just stumbled upon your blog and am so happy I did. What a sweet honest story. We are in the process of adopting a 5 year old boy and have been searching for stories of adoptions of older children. Thank you so much for the encouragement of what God can do and for the truth of the struggles.

chksngr said...

I cannot believe its been a year...and how much he has grown and changed...its miraculous. Today those questions are so so hard...but one day, when he has had years of your love and the confidence that he is a treasured child of God, you will be able to answer his then he may have decided that they don't even really matter. Its amazing how children can adapt and learn to love with their whole hearts, even when they have painful things in their past. He's one remarkable child, you are one remarkable momma and you have one remarkable family.Its a blessing to me just to get to read about it!

Sandy B said...

Happy Gotcha Day! Ty may not want to celebrate but you still can. When he says"Why didn't you come get me when I was a baby?" You could reply, "I WISH we had you when you were a baby." That lets him know you wish for the same things he does. It doesn't change what actually happened, but soothes his soul.
He has come a long way this past year!

Anonymous said...

i had no idea your gotcha day was september 20th so is emma lael's the SAME day....your blog was the very first blog i'd ever seen when we began our adoption journey to our sweet girl....ty is adorable...i've enjoyed watching him grow over this past year...God is GREAT! thank God for his grace & mercy.

i don't know you but i know your the perfect mom for ty he's one lucky little guy.

Happy Gotcha Day Ty