So I have been MIA while my computer was at the doctor... man I accomplish so much more around my house when I don't have access to a computer :) Anyhow, while I was away I missed blogging about a pretty momentous milestone around here. Ty's one year Gotcha day. It has been a year filled with witnessing miracles and one of the hardest years of my life all at the same time. For the girls we always celebrated their gotcha day with a yummy dinner and a small gift that we bought for them in China. But we are treading on different ground this time around. Last week when we told Ty that his special day was coming up he started to get sad and has a lot of questions. Not the kind you would expect. He does not ever want to talk about his time in China. We bring it up often or try to ask him questions which he NEVER answers. We all love China and talk about one day going back with the entire family. He will quickly pipe up and remind everyone that he does NOT want to go to China. When the conversation does turn to China he usually starts to question me and asking me, "Mommy, what took you so long to get me in China?" "Why did it not take a long time for you to get Mina and Finn in China?" "Mommy, you should have gotten me first!" "Mommy, I want to be a baby when you get me in China." I think he blames me for the fact that he waited so long.
And then sometimes he just tells us that he WAS a baby when we came to China. I think he would love to just gloss over and pretend that is how it all went down. Denial. I totally understand that. I don't know if I will ever be able to tell him the truth that I had seen his sweet face waiting on waiting lists for over 2 years before I even thought about the possibility of adding another child to our crew. I do know for sure that for the past year this boy has loved like I have never seen, he has the biggest heart I have ever known and I am blessed to be his Mama.
Needless to say we didn't celebrate too much, I don't think he would have appreciated it. He wants so badly to just forget, to be just like his big brother and not have this past. So we just went on like any other day. But I went back to look at some pictures of my boy one year ago and I broke into tears.
Now, if you put these pictures side to side I wouldn't pick my boy out of a line up. He is a totally different child. He looks and acts like he has aged 4 years in the past 12 months.